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Love letter

A love letter that is not a text message

Most people have never written one and freeze at the first line. This is the structure that works, what to put in, and what to leave out.

Create your love story See a real example
  • A structure to follow
  • Openings you can steal
  • Sent as a private page
  • No occasion needed
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Why write one at all

Because nothing else you send is kept. Messages scroll away. A letter is read twice, once quickly and once slowly, and then it is read again months later on a bad day.

It does not need an occasion. A letter on an ordinary Tuesday is worth more than the same letter on an anniversary, because nobody was expecting it.

The structure that works

Five parts, in this order. It is not a rule, it is just what holds together when read aloud.

  1. When it started. A date, or a specific moment. "The second time we met, not the first."
  2. What you noticed. Something small and true. The thing they do with their hands. How they are with waiters.
  3. The hard part. A year, a stretch, a thing that nearly did not work. A letter with no difficulty in it reads as a reference.
  4. What they changed. What is different about you now. Be concrete rather than grand.
  5. What next. Small and near. Grand promises age badly; "I want another year of Sunday mornings" does not.

Openings you can use

The first line is where everyone stalls. Any of these will get you moving:

  • "I have started this four times."
  • "You will not remember this, but..."
  • "It began on the 14th of March, in a way neither of us planned."
  • "There is a thing you do that I have never told you I noticed."
  • "I counted. It has been two hundred and twelve days."

Write the middle first if the opening will not come. The first line is usually easier to find once the rest exists.

What to leave out

Anything you would say about anyone. If it would work for a colleague leaving, cut it.

Apologies you have not made properly. A letter is not the place for an apology that should be a conversation.

Everything. Two pages read once beats six pages abandoned halfway.

Sending it

Paper, if you can. Post it even though you will see them on Thursday.

If they are far away, or you want it to arrive as something rather than as a wall of blue bubbles, send it as a page: a line at a time, with your photographs around it, behind a code only they would guess. It takes a letter and gives it a door.

Build the whole thing and look at it before you pay.

Create your love story

FAQ

How do I start a love letter?

With a fact rather than a feeling. A date, a place, or something they said. Feelings land better once the reader is already somewhere specific.

How long should a love letter be?

Four to eight short paragraphs. Long enough to show effort, short enough to be read in one sitting without the reader skimming.

Is a digital love letter worse than a handwritten one?

Different. Paper is better for the object. A page is better when they are far away, when you want photographs around the words, or when you want it kept somewhere it will not be lost.

Do I need an occasion?

No, and it is usually better without one. A letter nobody was expecting is read more carefully than one that arrives on schedule.